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Bookake

All the books. In my face.

Currently reading

The Blinding Knife
Brent Weeks
Logic: An Introduction to Elementary Logic
Wilfrid Hodges
First Steps In Music Theory
Eric Taylor
The AB Guide to Music Theory: Part I
Eric Taylor
Fast Ships, Black Sails
Garth Nix, Eric Flint, Dave Freer, Carrie Vaughn, Howard Waldrop, Michael Moorcock, Jeff VanderMeer, Brendan Connell, Kage Baker, Sarah Monette, Conrad Williams, Elizabeth Bear, Steve Aylett, Rhys Hughes, Jayme Lynn Blaschke, Rachel Swirsky, Kelly Barnhill, Scott Altmann,
British Sign Language
Paul Redfern, Nicholas Callow, Laraine Callow
Being a Quaker
Geoffrey Durham
Shadow Unit 2
Emma Bull, Elizabeth Bear, Amanda Downum, Sarah Monette, Kyle Cassidy

The Da Vinci Code

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown Dan Brown gets everywhere.

When I moved in with my partner, and our book collections merged, we ended up with 2 copies of The Da Vinci Code, and both of us hated it.

Every charity shop bookshelf has at least one copy, I've never seen one that doesn't have one. Never a dusty copy tho, I imagine some poor soul buys it and on realising their mistake, for once in their life obeys the the happy little yellow sticker "Please bring me back for other people to enjoy!", and it goes right back the next day.

Or perhaps all charity shops have a pile of Dan Browns in their stock room just waiting to go out when the old copy starts looking depressed.

When I bought my copy, it had been out less than a year, and it was already on special offer, they couldn't get rid of it fast enough, and I should have known better than to fall for it!

Every house in Britain must have a copy of The Da Vinci Code.

When the Apacalypse has come and gone copies of The Da Vinci Code will still remain, scattered among the detritus. Cockroaches of the book kingdom, capable of nothing worthwhile but continuing their own existence.


Despite the fact that I created my 'crap' bookshelf, just for this book (others got added later), I remember little of the actual details of the novel. Which is a very good thing, since I read it in 2004 and if I hadn't managed to forget it by now, that would make me a very sick individual.

The one part I remember clearly, was the highlight of my intense dislike of the whole novel. This is the scene where Langdon arrives at Sir Teabing's house, and Sir Teabing will not let him enter without correctly answering a question of whether he wants milk or sugar in his tea. Apparently the correct answer was in fact 'lemon'. This bit was so ridiculous it drove me crazy. Perhaps tea is a sensitive topic with me, but theres no way you can give a definitive answer without knowing what kind of tea it was. I imagine that the correct version of this scene would have been as follows:


Teabing: Do I take milk or sugar in my tea?
Langdon: Would that be Assam, Ceylon, Darjeeling, Earl Grey, Chamomile, Peppermint or Green Tea?
TEABING IS CATAPULTED THROUGH THE AIR INTO A GIANT CHASM NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.


Although preferably that last bit would be Dan Brown himself, not Teabing. Byebye Dan Brown. Good Riddance.